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So, as you know, I was flying high on Friday.
Somehow, some way, I've got to figure out a way to bottle that feeling I had. I'm not sad or depressed today, but that euphoria isn't blaring quite as strong.
Yesterday I told one of my crushes my secret.(which seemed ridiculously obvious, anyway) we did not make out. Surprisingly we didn't really even talk about it after I confessed. That's ok. I'm pretty sure he's still hung up on this chick who moved to Austin. We've talked a couple times since the "declaration" and everything's cool...so I'm not worried about it.

oh.
Friday I saw Two for the Money--with Al Pacino and a man who I would make out with in a heartbeat--Matthew McConehowdoyouspellit...holy crap he's beautiful. I thought the movie stunk, really...but the view was simply divine.
ok. enough about that.

At about 830 last night my doorbell rang. Nobody ever just drops by, so I had no idea who it could be. some ideas about who I didn't want it to be--I flipped on the outside light, but still really couldn't see. There were two people there--and one was a woman. I opened the door and they just stood there not saying anything. I asked if I could help them... they were looking for Ron. I saw the warrant. Of course he hasn't been at my house since July 19, but I was still a little scared -- I don't know why. I let them in and gave them the Reader's Digest version. She asked me to call him and get him to come over. I'm sitting here shaking my head...at me. at her. at Ron. I called him and left a message on his voicemail--something that thinking about it now, I know he won't believe. He lied to me for over 2 years, and all I did last night was perpetuate that. I called him this morning, and left another message apologizing. Since he reads this, I'm sure, he will know the rest of the story.
The deal is...I'm not gonna lie for anyone. I hope never again.
Not to myself, and not to anyone else. I feel shitty for lieing to Ron. Turnabout is not fair play. I actually felt like I was gonna puke.
I think your response will be for me not to worry about it. That bothers me, too. How is one lie better than another?